Life like this

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel so dark inside and you don't want to get out of bed or practically just have to drag yourself out of your gloomy senses? Well, guess what? I'm having one. Right now.

It is not 'bout being lazy but it is something like having one big heavy rock, strapped on your back and you can't get up. Even if you're trying the best you can. It seems like it's pulling and pulling you into the dark.. ~big sigh~

Maybe it is because of hormone or whatever. I don't know. All I know is that I just want to stay in bed till I can feel myself wanting to get up.

I've felt this way before but I don't remember when. A long time ago I guess. This remind me of what I usually do to cheer myself up. I will go and get myself one big giant of ToffeeNut Latte at Starbucks. I was craving it for years and I always bought it whenever I felt like this (by always, I mean everyday). However, this drinks only available during the Xmas month. Since last year, it doesn't taste the same as I tasted it a couple of years ago. 

I keep on asking myself "What do I want?" whenever I felt like this and the only think I can think of at this very moment is... I want to get away. Out of Malaysia if I can.. 

Well, all of that is the gloomy me. I am okay now. I feel much more better. No. I feel great. I feel so alive. This morning was a battle for me to even step out of the house but when I finally done with my class, I can see that I am doing so much better. So, whenever you are feeling the way I feel this morning, getting away may not be the ONLY solution you see..Sharing the knowledge you have with others, helps you to feel much better about yourself.. Today's class was awesome. Even though most of the student didn't come but the class went great. The best thing is that I enjoyed myself. 

My day doesn't end there.. It makes the day so much better when me and my husband went to Ayah's kebun. Such a refreshing feeling. We cleaned all the dried leaves and the kebun now is so serene if you ask me.. We're planning to make a homestay out of the house in that kebun. It is still in the planning. 

What a day for me..  

Life isn't about finding yourself but creating yourself.