90 days

It's already been 90 days now.. How are you doing Ues. Ayah and Nde misses you.. We miss your laugh and all those little things you do that remind us of you.. Such as when you on't know what to do and you'll say "Macam maneee nii".. With a very unique intonation of yours.. Everytime I see the Nescaffe ads with Harith Iskandar, it always remind me of you.. "Haluuuusssss je!" :)

*Be good Farreal.. Nde & Ayah loves you very much...

Fashionista & Shopaholic

*credit from Lil Choms FB Page.

New stuff! New Stuff!

Okay.. Okay.. I know it ain't much but would like to share 'bout this one accessories line created by my very dear friend Sobby. You can check her line out HERE. She named it Lil Choms because that is what she'd always call her lil Farish since he was in her tummy. During her pregnancy, she's already mentioned Farish and update almost everything about him to her FB friends like all the time. She'll update his development through out her pregnancy and with his special name Lil Choms. Time fly so fast huh.. Well Farish is 6 months old now.. Yeay!! So she developed a new hobby, making jeweleries and other accessories. Gotta tell ya, it is so so cool and awsome! Just check it out yourself. Click HERE.

I've already booked one for my liltle sister, Yana. Woohuuu!

The first time she post this design, I am automatically fall in love with it, PM her and ordered right away.

*credit from Lil Choms FB Page.

It is not just about the design but what you think of it the first time you saw it. I mean, for any jeweleries itself, you're buying it because it remind you of something that you really like. So this one, reminds me of the Shopaholic Novels by Sophie Kinsella. Not saying I've read all of it but I do got the chance of reading a few myself. If you'd like, you can read it too. Have a nice day!!

Have Fun!!!

Thank you for visiting my blog.. :D Bagus.. Bagus.. at the same time dapat menerapkan sikap membaca dikalangan kita.. Tahniah!! You have done something great for yourself today.. Yall deserve a pat on the shoulder.

Err.. betul bak kata Dato' Dr. Hj. Mohd. Fadzilah Kamsah "Kadang kadang kawan menteri lebih dari menteri.."

Have fun Yall!! Owh you are most welcome to my blog indeed. Thank you for coming ey!

P palang s: Kalau ada lagi hadith-hadith nabi tu share-share la.. Sesungguhnya saya adalah insan yang hina lagi kerdil.. Begin with the end in mind. Jazakallah...

*We all love and misses you Farreal.. Be safe.

Love can drive out hate

Thank you so much for reading my blogs who ever you are... Walaupun korang tak bagi komen kat sini and komen kat belakang-belakang je kan... Alhamdulillah... Its okay. It doesn't matter to me if korang benci kalau aku sayang pada Farreal ke ape ke.. Its okay. You have your own opinions and your own perspective right? And I respect that.. I do..

Why does it matter if I were to miss and love Farreal? Salah ke? Korang tau ke tak Nabi saw sayangkan anak kecil? Baginda juga menyuruh kita adilkan kasih sayang kepada semua anak kita. Begitu kasihnya Baginda kepada golongan yang comel lagi kecil ini dan dinasihatkan kepada umatnya agar memberikan kasih sayang yang seadil-adilnya kepada anak-anak kita.. So kenapa nak kene letak gap? Don't tell me you guys are against what the prophet taught us.. Nauzubillah..

I will be having my own Insyallah.. Don't be surprised. But Farreal will always be the first one. Jangan persoalkan sayang dan rindu aku pada dia.. Itu kan satu perasaan anugerah Allah? Kalau rindu ke, sayang ke, especially to a kid, tak boleh ucapkan? Tak boleh cakap? Who are you to say such things.. He is just a kid and my love to him is still a love from a mother to her son. Even if I am only his step mom. Ape ade hal.. Bersentuhan tak batal wudhuk.. Alhamdulillah to those that wishes me to get my own, thank you so much.. You are so very thoughtful.. And I do love and adore you for that..

Owh and for the record, kalau aku cerita pasal life aku, just don't take it personally la.. It is my life.. It is what it is.. Korang buleh baca but yang merasa aku. Kalau korang yang nak tersentap lelebih, aku mintak mahap la.. Stop baca blog aku. Simple.. Takda la merah-merah muke tu tak pasal-pasal nak tahan marah kan? Owh senang, komen je kat sini. Tak la dapat dosa kering.. At least, bila aku baca aku leh la bagi point of view aku pulak kan..?

May Allah be with you all.. :D

*Farreal, Nde & Ayah will always love you no matter what.. Don't ever doubt that..

Farreal, kami rindu awak..

Ya Allah.. Hari ni, dah masuk hari yang ke 86 aku dan Syam masih tidak ketemu dengan Farreal.. Rindu nya yaaa amatsss.. Semoga dibukakan hati dia untuk bagi peluang kami berjumpa dan spend time dengan Farreal pulak..

Hari tu masa pergi shopping, siap beli baju Farreal lagi since nak bawak dia pegi Singapore but baju tu tinggal bergantung saja dalam almari. ~ how sad ~ Tiap kali lalu depan butik baju budak-budak, memang aku drop by and tengok-tengok baju untuk Farreal. Dalam hati "Ish kalau Farreal pakai ni, memang ensem abes..".. Aku paling suke style Poney, Gap Kids and Adams. Tapi tu la.. ni dah berapa lama pulak tak dapat jumpa dia..

Masa mak bapak aku divorce dulu pun, tak pernah lebih dari sebulan aku tak jumpe both of them. Paling lama pun dua minggu je. Yang lebih dari sebulan tu kalau aku balik Muadzam la khoott..

Mak bapak aku divorce cara baik so, both of them dah buat schedule untuk anak-anak spend masa duduk umah diaorang seminggu. Gilir-gilir la. Seminggu sini, seminggu sana.. Memula tu mcm terasa juga lebih suka duduk umah mak aku dari uma bapak aku. Ada minggu lain, aku lebih suka duk umah bapak aku dari umah mak aku.. Tak pernah tetap actually. Lelama, mana yang kami rasa selesa je..

Tapi memang pelik la kalau bila dah sampai seminggu tu, aku dengan adik-adik spend terlebih seminggu ke.. Rasa pelik sebab tak jumpa bapak aku.. Well, bapak aku ni pulak hat jenis everyday call.. Lepas call aku, call mizi pulak, then syikin, then yana. Ish.. yana dah ada handphone rasanya masa tu... Haisshhh... So, aku tau la kalau bapak aku merajuk dengan aku atau dengan adik-adik. Sampai petang je la cukup.. Aku akan rasa pelik kenapa dia tak call aku. Aku akan tanya syikin. Kalau Syikin pun dia tak call, ade la bende yang dia rajukkan tu. Aku akan call la dia tanya khabar. Cakap dalam 2-3 minit, dia terus okeh... hehehhe... Yup, bapak aku adalah seorang yang sangat sensitif..

Bayangkan pulak Farreal yang tak jumpe ayah dia sekian lama.. Macam mana pulak tu ye?
Masa dia duduk sini dulu pun, dia selalu mengigau dalam tidur dia. Risau aku kadang-kadang tu. Tido malam pun cari ayah dia, tido siang pun duk panggey ayah dia. Masa dia tengah mengigau tu, jangan la cuba nak kejut dia. Memang menangis tak berenti la jawabnya. Selalunya kene tunggu sebab dia akan tido balik. Masa nak kejut dia, kene baring sebelah dia, cium-cium sikit and kejut pelan-pelan. Dah nampak muke kite, senyum la dia.. First thing dia tanya, "Ayah mana Nde?"

Dah besar agaknye dia ye..

Arwah mak aku dulu, sangat sempoi. Dia tak kisah langsung kalau waktu kami kat rumah dia, bapak aku ajak keluar makan ke, jalan-jalan ke.. As long as masa tu tak clash nak outing dengan dia. If aku kat rumah bapak aku sekalipun, dia akan call ajak pegi breakfast ke, shopping ke... Kan best kalau both divorce parents macam tu..

*Farreal, kami nak sangat jumpa awak.. Rindu nih dah tak tertanggung.. We are one big happy family.. Ya Allah, bukakan hati dia untuk merasai apa yang aku rasa ni.. Amin..

Dear Farreal,

How are you doing so far? You know what? Me and your dad misses you so so so much.. It is very heartbreaking and frustrating that we can't see you or even hear anything about you. How is your little brother doing? Can he talk? He he he.. I bet he's already know how to respond to you when you talk to him ey..

Farreal, we think about you all the time. Me and your dad always talked about the time we all spent together when you were here. The picture of you that your dad took, that's the closest thing we get to even look at you. We were wondering how tall you are now. I know its only been 82 days since we last saw you but still, we know you must have grown a bit taller each and everyday.

How is school treating you? Do you have a lot of friends? Are they nice to you? You should be nice too you know. How are the teachers? Do you have anyone that you admire?? He he he.. I bet you do. What's her name?

Farreal, me and your dad have been planning all this vacations for you. We are only waiting for you to come home. When are you coming home? Everybody misses you. Naufal is few days old now. Don't you wanna see Naufal? Sometimes, we mistakenly call Naufal Ues.. yup.. It is not just me but your Ibu, Abah, Bubu and Yayah ya know. We are still waiting to see you.

Farreal, please come home. This feeling of missing you all the time is so unbearable. That has never been a day that me and your dad never think of you. We love and misses you.

Take care and be good.

Nde

"Well Mannered"

Aku tumpang simpati diatas nasib mangsa² tsunami dan gempa bumi di Jepun di kala ini.. Ucapan takziah buat mereka yang terkorban. Dalam keadaan huru hara yang berlaku disana, kekaguman masyarakat dunia terhadap penduduk di Jepun bertambah apabila mereka kelihatan tabah menghadapi bencana ini. Mereka mampu beratur menunggu giliran mengambil makanan. Selain daripada itu, mereka juga masih mampu bersenam di awal pagi. Pencarian mangsa² yang masih tertimbus juga dibuat dalam keadaan yang begitu tenang. Selalunya riot dan crisis pasti berlaku di saat² genting macam ni. Walaubagaimanapun mereka di Jepun tidak berbuat demikian.. *Kagum*

*kredit dari Reuters* Diantara penduduk Sendai yang beratur di farmasi untuk membeli ubat

Aku rasa semua masyarakat dunia perlu mencontohi sikap 'well mannered' orang Jepun ni. Aku cuma punya pengalaman ke Toyokawa, Narita, Tokyo dan beberapa tempat yang berdekatan. Sesungguhnya aku sendiri begitu mengagumi mereka ni. Bukan setakat dekat foreigners sahaja dorang berbudi bahasa malah even dengan penduduk mereka sendiri.. Especially dengan warga tua dan kanak².

Bersama keluarga angkat aku di Toyokawa

Group Program Anak Angkat di Jepun

Lautan manusia di Disneyland (lagi best daripada Disneyland California)

Aku paling suke bila waktu makan..

Lagi waktu makan

makan.. makan.. dan makan

Aku doakan semoga rakyat Jepun akan bangkit semula daripada bencana yang mempunyai seribu satu hikhmah ini..

It was a dream

Dear Farreal,

I dreamt about you last night. Finally we met.. even if it is just a dream..

Farreal, it has been 69 days now.. We love and misses you.. so much..

Take a good care of yourself..

Be good and stay healthy.

p/s : Ayah misses you too... All day, everyday, every second and minute..

Love,

Nde

Baby baru

I am so proud of Abby & Kay.. Alhamdulillah Abby dah selamat deliver baby boy semalam. Syafriel Mikhael Naufal nama diberi.. Baby besar therefore, operate la jawabnye.. Aku rasa macam bermimpi je Abby dah jadik ibu.. Tahniah Abby.. Tahniah Kay.. Insyallah this week will be seeing you guys since just got make-up appointment di Ipoh.. Tak sabar nak pi tengok Mikhael. :)

*Farreal, ibu dah dapat baby..

This morning aku dapat cerita yang tak berapa nak best. Still in shocked of what I get to know.. Kawan aku tu.. Kenapa dia jadi macam tu?

~ sigh ~

Penat balik dari bercuti hari tu masih berbaki. Sampai KL pun dah subuh. Pergi kerja half day sebab qada' tido. Semalam sebelum dia gerak balik ke Kedah, kami singgah Sogo sat. Shopping baju aku.. Thank you bee.. Berbaju baru jugak akhirnya. Jenuh la pi sampai S'pore hari tu carik jugak baju tapi tak kesempatan nak beli ape pun. Sesambil join deme aku tumpang jadik photographer tak bertauliah..

*my love

*Isteri Abang Zul yang fotogenik pada pendapat aku..

*Isteri & anak Abg Zul

*The group yang menghadirkan diri hari tu..

*Suke gambar Kak Eja hat nih..

P palang s: missing Farreal..

I know what you did...

Selama aku ber'blogging', since dari zaman sekolah lagi (I do have few blogs) aku tak pernah rasa yang blog aku nih akan di'visit' oleh sesiapa. Ini kerana ber'blogging' merupakan cara aku untuk meluahkan apa yang bermain² dalam kepala ni secara freely. Well, masa sekolah rendah dulu simpan diari tapi selalu ada orang lain yang baca. :D

Well, bila aku start berblogging thru friendster (zaman dulu masa pakai friendster lagi), selalunya yang mengomen adalah kawan² rapat yang selalu rajin singgah kat blog aku tu. Namun, tak sangka ada jugak 'mereka'² yang lain datang menyinggah jugak. Terima kasih.. Sudi jugak datang membaca. Ehehehe...

Aku tak nafikan disaat 'mereka'² ni datang singgah dan membaca blog aku, masa tu aku berada dalam keadaan down yang teramat diatas segala yang berlaku disekeliling aku. Masa tu arwah ibu baru meninggal, bapak tiri buat hal, masalah company, kes faraid, family feud, etc. tension wor.. Buat aku mencari ketenangan dengan menjadi GSTT untuk 5 bulan di Penang. Jadi GSTT, ada 'mak tiri' pulak yang very clearly cukup jaki dengan aku.. Apa masalah dia pun aku tak tahu la.. Nasib.. nasib.. Kebanyakan post aku masa tu memang aku buat secara general je sebab melibatkan banyak pihak. *Ikut suke aku la kan.. nama pun blog aku.. ~duh~

Antara komen 'mereka'² yang aku maksudkan ialah seperti berikut:-


Terima kasih yee kerana sudi memberi motivasi dan criticism..

Bagi mengelakkan daripada dikenali, 'mereka'² ni begitu pandai telah meletakkan email address palsu (konon tak dapat detect). But they we're wrong. Kat situ ada sekali IP address disertakan. So, it is very easy to detect their location.

However, one of 'mereka' komen blog aku letak nama lain tapi email address dia appear dalam comment setting aku. Haaa kan dah kantoi.. Aku tahu sape dia.. (This can happen if you log in using your friendster account and terus pegi ke blog dan komen).

This actually happen years ago. Aku tahu tapi aku buat macam aku tak kenal siapa 'mereka' itu.. I do know who you are my dear.. *Sengaja aku hitamkan.. Biar aku je lah yang tahu siapa kau..

Well, senang je nak tahu lokasi 'pengomen' tegar blog aku nih tengok IP address deme ler..

Pegi je dekat website nih

Then type kan aje IP addressnye.

Tekan 'Enter'. Taraaa!!! Then keluarlah lokasi si 'pengomen' tadi..

Siap buleh tengok map lagi. Click je kat button kanan sekali tu.. Senang kan?

P palang s : Aku suke dengan teknologi di hujung jari nih..

Yana is 12!

Tuuu diiaaa punye busat wor!!

Yana already turned 12 yesterday.. Alhamdulillah.. Happy Birthday Yana!! Tak celebrate ape pun. Just belikan cupcakes untuk dia. But she LOVED it so much!! Katenye nak bawak pegi sekolah bagi pada member² yang bagi present pada dia masa kat skeolah tu. Waahhh bertuahnya.. It was weekdays. Just bawak dia balik rumah Plaza and bawak budak² kat urmah tu pegi PMC tengok TokMa baru lepas operate betulkan rahim dia.. Then hantar Yana balik rumah papa semula sebab dia nak sekolah.. Kene bangun awal. Itu pun aku tak singgah. Just drop her off then pegi makan dengan budak² tu dekat bomba..

*Thank you Puan Uni tolong saya orderkan cuppies ini..

Punye letih dan mengantuk la semalam.. Rasa nak angkat sudu suap kat mulut pun tak larat dah.. Drive nak balik rumah tu rasa cam torture khoott..

This week aku ke utara lagi bercuti² Malaysia dan finally dapat jumpe Nathan yang feymes tu ahakss.. Letih balik dari S'pore minggu lepas pun tak abeh lagi rasanya. Kepala lutut nih duk vibrate dan berbunyik² macam orang kene osteoporosis dah lagaknya.. Masa sujud dalam solat, nak bangun balik.. mak aaiiii punye payah laa... terasa macam orang tua pun ada.. Ikutkan hati nak aje terus duduk..

Pagi tadi bangun agak awal dalam kul 5 gitu.. Teringat kat Farreal.. Its already been 63 days since we last saw him.. How frustrating. Rindu betul kat dia.. Ya Allah, I wish him well. Please take good care of him.

ALLAH tests us often

and for every pain

He gives us

provided we are patient

Is followed by rich gain

So whenever we feel that

everything is going wrong

It is just ALLAH'S way to make our spirit strong.

My dear Yana, I wish for you to be a good person when you grow up. I will not be there for you all the time but please do know that I am there if you need me for anything. I love you very much and want all the good things happen to you. Just remember to never forgot our creator and perform solah obediently. Insyallah everything will went well even if Ibu is not here. You have me, Kak Uda, AbgLang, AbgWan and family with you all the way.. We love you very much..